Reality Check and a Moment To Pause. American Work Ethic and, Well, Insanity

Yesterday at a faculty retreat, a colleague in marriage and family therapy did an activity that pinched our brains, punched usin the stomach, and inevitably tricked us into deep reflection. The task?

We were given four cups and we had to write on them, who or what we prioritize in our lives: that is, what are the four things we spend the most energy upon.

As I began to think about my 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year lifestyle, I knew that the vast majority of my cups would be work, so I listed three of the job responsibilities I have (leaving the 4th as a joke - bourbon). The other three were CWP, GSEAP, and Research. We then were given a water bottle and asked to fill the cups with water, to show how much time we spend on each. I equalled out three, and left a drop in the bourbon glass (meant to be humorous, but a big dig on the reality of my life). One by one, colleagues began to deeply reflect on the truth that came from such an activity. We know there's supposed to be a life/work balance, but being in academia, all of us were lopsided.

"Ha! I didn't even think to put my husband onto one of the cups," said one colleague. "I didn't even think of him."

Those with little children had a cup for them, but admitted that they received only some of the water. There was much crestfallen somber after doing the activity.

It initiated a conversation of cultures around the world and the rat race that so many of us typically are running: no time, exhausted, looking for heath, sad we're not doing enough, and realizing our priorities are askew.

I've learned to find happiness in the work I do, but seeing that "all work and no play" has been a frustration for decades now, I'm wondering, "Why do I allow this?" Employers get a lot out of me...too much, which results in them not hiring more people to help out the labor that needs to occur. There's not enough resistance. There's not enough showcasing, "Wait a second, this is not right!"

Of course, this all gets tied into American privilege and the fact that, in a dog eat dog world, those who snooze, lose. It's a catch-22. We're trapped by the work.

The whole exercise made me long for retirement, where I won't wake up, live, and then lose sleep over agendas, reports, replies, demands, and responses.

I'm starting this Saturday thinking much about balance and the lack of it. I'm not sure what I'll do about it, but I know that the water in my work cup has always been, and remains, lopsided. It's not right, but it is what it is, and I'm sad because it - not so much sad for me, but for those who have families, children, or elders to take care of.

Humans are such brutal beasts. If only we were more in line with the rest of the world with finding a middle ground.